Charlie Sheen is a Jerk!

I remember the first time I saw Charlie Sheen in a movie. I think I was in about 9th or 10th grade and he was in the movie "Men at Work" with Emilio Estevez. I thought Charlie was so hot! Come on, I was a boy crazy 15 year old girl! I think I thought Kirk Cameron was cute too! Wow! Anyways, I lost track of him after that movie (oh wait, there was also the movie "Hot Shots" and "The Three Musketeers"). But I just read the affidavit that Denise Richards submitted to the police and if even half of it is true, he's a grade A jerk! I'm not sure how credible "The Smoking Gun" is but it seemed pretty authentic. It accuses him of perscription drug use(Norco and Xanax), soliciting prostitutes (imagine that) and get this, downloading gay male porn! Nice, Charlie! Not to mention, he has pushed Denise around, called her names in front of her kids and has threatened to kill her! Watch out, folks! We have a white OJ on our hands!

Carson Daly and Howie Mandel Should Get Married

So I couldn't get to sleep last night in my childhood room so I was watching Conan O'Brien. I think he has got to be the funniest guy on TV. He had Howie Mandel on his show as one of his guests. I don't know if any of you have "Deal or No Deal" but it's pretty much the equivalent of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" for idiots. But, apparently it's saving the NBC network so Mandel is SO full of himself. Come on douchebag, you didn't think of the concept of picking a briefcase, did you? No! You didn't! It's your ridiculous antics and the hot chics that have made the show popular. As far as I'm concerned, I would never want to be on any game show. I always thought I would want to be on TPIR just to be able to spin the big wheel and the final showcase drama, but I've had seconds thoughts about that too. You have to cut the government in on your winnings and have to pay taxes on your prizes so God forbid you win the car! Wow, I got off the subject but my point is that Howie Mandel is most arrogant guys I've seen on TV in a while. Yuck...and I used to love "Bobby's World"!

On the flipside, I still was unable to fall asleep, so at 12:30am, the show with Carson Daly as a host comes on. (I can't even remember the title but I'm sure it has Late or Last in it.) This guy really is the biggest TOOL on TV. He makes the stupidest jokes, acts like he knows so much about music and all the while, his show is pretty much an adult TRL. This guy was so in he right place at the right time. I mean, you've got to be pretty stupid (or wasted off your ass) to even think about proposing to Tara Reid back in the day! I can just picture the proposal....Carson and Tara drunk off their asses walking out of a bar, making out in the car like high school kids. I'm sure that's Carson's style (and we all know Tara would have no idea where she was anyways!) All of that ranting to say that, well....I think I'm now dumber for watching both of these guys last night!

Muffin Tops and Heffalumps*

Alright this is a post for my girls out there, just info to think about so don't take offense. This world is so weight concerned and I can't stand it! Me, I've been called athletic. I'm about 5'8", not telling you how much I weigh but I'm not considered thick and I'm not told to "eat a sandwhich" either. I could probably lose about 5 pounds, but when I do lose weight, it comes right out of my boobs! So, Ben, you'd probably prefer me not to drop any :) My point is to say to you girls out there who may need to lose 5-10 pounds, WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT YOU! I guarantee, no one will notice the extra, you'll feel better about yourself and I swear guys won't notice (until you get in the bedroom, but you shouldn't be in there anyways the first time you meet him).

I see so many girls (especially here in fat engourged MO) that wear clothes that don't fit them. This results in tight shirts and jeans. Nothing more unappealing than that, for sure! This causes what my guy friends call (and call you behind your backs) Muffin Tops! You know, when you make muffins and you fill the cup too far and you pull them out of the oven and they've overflowed. That's what your fat skin looks like coming over the top of your jeans! GROSS! So when you're in the dressing room at the Gap, Banana Republic or (god forbid) Wal-Mart, sit down in those jeans you just squeezed yourself into! If you can grab a handful on the side, DON'T BUY THEM! It's SO unattractive! If you buy bigger jeans, you give the illusion of being thinner because when you're out on the dance floor shakin' it with the boys and they grab your hips, they aren't grabbing a handful of skin! Who cares what size you are! No one is looking at your tags! Also, size XS and S aren't for anyone but those girls in the "Pussycat Dolls". If you aren't tan, have your navel pierced and especially if you're wearing jeans that are a size too small for you, don't wear a form fitting tee! There's nothing worse than seeing how big a chic's bellybutton is especially if it's the size of doughnut! There, I said it!

*Heffalump: word used by Slopmaster to describe girls that are overweight (and probably have muffin tops)