I'm Not Scared To Fly

Mmmm….Tom Welling, the modern day embodiment of a young Superman, WB style. I’m working my way through the first season of Smallville thanks to Netflix. I have to admit, I didn’t anticipate liking the show very much but I’m really getting into it. Plus, I’ve always had a crush on John Snyder (for you younger readers, he used to play Bo Duke in the original Dukes of Hazard).

Anyway, Smallville got me thinking about super powers. The age old question: What would you want as a super power? Very interesting topic to think about. Would you want speed? I would love to be able to maximize my sleep quotient by being able to get to work faster than the speed of light. X-ray vision? In the original Superman, the writers made it seem he could see under clothes. But the way Smallville portrays it is as an actual x-ray machine, to be able to see through walls, boxes etc. Either way, I’m not really interested. Super strength? Not really the best thing to have as a golf professional. I don’t need to hit the ball farther than Tiger Woods. So what would I want as a super power? Man, I’m not sure now that I think about it. Having a super power would have its upsides and downsides. Would I want a power that would make me money? Would I want to help people, heal the sick? I’m not sure; I just hope I never find my Kryptonite.

When I Say Dated, What Does That Mean?

Ok, so Big Ben made a comment on my last entry that I've seem to have "dated" alot of guys. Hmmm, what does that mean? At first, I was a little offended but then I started thinking, that's not so bad. At least I'm getting asked out and I'm not so shallow to give guys a chance even if they're not as hot as most of the boys that read my blog. I'm still not giving out my...what was it called Ben, slut ratio number? I think that's a number that can be misleading (yikes). Anyways, I qualify dating a guy as going to dinner, meeting for drinks (the second time you go out), going to lunch, seeing a movie, kissing goodnight etc. There's a lot more in that etc. that I'm not going into because my dad happens to read this blog on occasion and I would hate for him to get the wrong idea about his little princess! I guess what is discouraging is that I haven't had a long term relationship since "Tad"...really. And I really don't know if he was even a relationship, it was complicated because I was his boss and people couldn't know, so it was weird. (Insert innuendo comment about working under your boss here.) I am kinda dating someone* right now that I met right before I left to visit my parents and now he's gone to New Orleans until sometime next week, so who knows. Here's our relationship, we've hung out about five times, doing various party/nightlife activities, gone to lunch, go out to bars and hung out at eachothers house's. Does that constitute a relationship? I have no idea, probably not. But he's a hottie! God, I'm such an idiot!

*James from the Red Lion that I met after the G-Love concert on April 7th.

Just A Coincidence? Probably...

Have you ever be in a new town or even just traveling and thought you saw someone you knew? Then you realize as you catch another glimpse that it's not the person you thought it was at all. This happened to me on the way home the other night but it was the person I thought it was.

Before I moved to Vail 4 years ago, I was kinda dating this guy we'll call "Tad". We dated for about 8 months and we were really good friends and had really good chemistry. He was a golf pro too and we worked for the same golf course at Disney. He actually convinced me to move out here because he said I would love it. He was originally from Colorado Springs and he said I would love the mountains. Well, he was right but that move took me miles away from him. Tad and I tried to keep things going but we knew it wasn't ever going to work. He wasn't moving back to Colorado and I was staying out here for a while. So we broke up. No hard feelings just sad. He showed me what I really wanted in a guy but I wasn't ready to get married (not that that ever came up). I went back to Florida two years ago and saw him but that was it. After that, we never talked again. I heard through the grapevine that he married a chic right after that and that was it. No wonder he never responded to emails I wrote him.

So I'm in the shuttle coming back from Denver and we have to make several stops in the Vail Valley. It's about nine o'clock at night and we have to go up to the Ritz Carlton in Bachelor Gulch to drop off a couple staying there for a convention. As we pulled past the guard shack, the guy waving us on....WAS TAD! Are you kidding me? I recognized him immediately but had no idea he was in Colorado! What was he doing here? I'm in shock at this point, all the old feelings come rushing back but I have to stop myself. "He's married, Jennifer, he's married." But I had to talk to him. I told the shuttle driver my story as we drove back down and he was more than happy to sit and wait while I chatted with Tad. So I get out of the shuttle, peek in the shack and he's not there! All of a sudden I hear, "Hey, dipshit" (one of those cute pet names). He's sitting in the SUV we pulled up behind. Well, to make long story a little shorter, he let me know within the first minute we were talking that he was married (damnit) but it was so good to talk to him. He looked great. Apparently, he moved here in November and he was working for Bachelor Gulch security. His wife works in F/B for the hotel and he's finishing the Denver Police Academy.

WOW! Sometimes I wonder why things like that happen. I don't think if I would have seen him 6 months ago or even a year ago, if I could have taken it. But now, I don't know, it wasn't too bad. I still think about him alot and will always classify him as "the one that got away". Probably just a coincidence that I saw him...probably.

The Road We All Travel

I was reading Slopmaster's blog entry this morning and wrote him an email reply. As I was writing him, I got the idea for this entry. I went to church AGAIN with my parents yesterday and the sermon really made me think. The basic point of the sermon was that just because we come across hardship in our life, doesn't mean that we are on the wrong path. Here is an excerpt of the email I wrote Slop:

"My life is soooo not what I thought it would be at 30 years old. Through twists and turns, worthless guys, different places to live, different living conditions, physical pain, mental pain, drugs, alcohol....I'm a SHRED of what I thought I would be at this point in my life. But I think it's a good shred, at least a smarter, more mature shred...I think. You just have to trust that the path you're on is the right one, just with different stops than you had planned. You're still on the correct highway, you just may have been traveling under different conditions, whatever those may have been."

I think we all struggle with the fact that we have no control of the plan of our life. I don't mean that we are ultimately predestined to fail OR succeed. I think we have a say in that but it's how we get to those points that make the difference. I read somewhere that Donald Trump has filed for bankruptcy more than once. I'm sure when he was going through that he didn't even grasp where he would be in 10-20 years. But he pressed on I'm sure and now look where he is. But who's to say he will still be one of the richest men in the world in 10 more years?

I was watching the E! True Hollywood story about Colin Farrell last night before I went to sleep. He will be 30 this year and apparently after all of the shennangins of his life, he is building a house next to his brother in his hometown in Ireland and wants to move back where his family and friends are (sound familiar Slop?). I think there is a point in your life where you have to get back to your roots, find yourself (or whats left of yourself) pull it together and move on, a better person for it. But only you can decide when and where that point is and how you can pick up the pieces.

*While losing brain cells watching "Last Call with Carson Daly" the other night, he played part of a song called "Bus Ride" by Rocco DeLuca and the Burden. I downloaded it to my iTunes and it's amazing! Check it out! By the way, did anyone see my girl Imogen Heap on Jay Leno the other night? She was fantastic!

Charlie Sheen is a Jerk!

I remember the first time I saw Charlie Sheen in a movie. I think I was in about 9th or 10th grade and he was in the movie "Men at Work" with Emilio Estevez. I thought Charlie was so hot! Come on, I was a boy crazy 15 year old girl! I think I thought Kirk Cameron was cute too! Wow! Anyways, I lost track of him after that movie (oh wait, there was also the movie "Hot Shots" and "The Three Musketeers"). But I just read the affidavit that Denise Richards submitted to the police and if even half of it is true, he's a grade A jerk! I'm not sure how credible "The Smoking Gun" is but it seemed pretty authentic. It accuses him of perscription drug use(Norco and Xanax), soliciting prostitutes (imagine that) and get this, downloading gay male porn! Nice, Charlie! Not to mention, he has pushed Denise around, called her names in front of her kids and has threatened to kill her! Watch out, folks! We have a white OJ on our hands!

Carson Daly and Howie Mandel Should Get Married

So I couldn't get to sleep last night in my childhood room so I was watching Conan O'Brien. I think he has got to be the funniest guy on TV. He had Howie Mandel on his show as one of his guests. I don't know if any of you have "Deal or No Deal" but it's pretty much the equivalent of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" for idiots. But, apparently it's saving the NBC network so Mandel is SO full of himself. Come on douchebag, you didn't think of the concept of picking a briefcase, did you? No! You didn't! It's your ridiculous antics and the hot chics that have made the show popular. As far as I'm concerned, I would never want to be on any game show. I always thought I would want to be on TPIR just to be able to spin the big wheel and the final showcase drama, but I've had seconds thoughts about that too. You have to cut the government in on your winnings and have to pay taxes on your prizes so God forbid you win the car! Wow, I got off the subject but my point is that Howie Mandel is most arrogant guys I've seen on TV in a while. Yuck...and I used to love "Bobby's World"!

On the flipside, I still was unable to fall asleep, so at 12:30am, the show with Carson Daly as a host comes on. (I can't even remember the title but I'm sure it has Late or Last in it.) This guy really is the biggest TOOL on TV. He makes the stupidest jokes, acts like he knows so much about music and all the while, his show is pretty much an adult TRL. This guy was so in he right place at the right time. I mean, you've got to be pretty stupid (or wasted off your ass) to even think about proposing to Tara Reid back in the day! I can just picture the proposal....Carson and Tara drunk off their asses walking out of a bar, making out in the car like high school kids. I'm sure that's Carson's style (and we all know Tara would have no idea where she was anyways!) All of that ranting to say that, well....I think I'm now dumber for watching both of these guys last night!

Muffin Tops and Heffalumps*

Alright this is a post for my girls out there, just info to think about so don't take offense. This world is so weight concerned and I can't stand it! Me, I've been called athletic. I'm about 5'8", not telling you how much I weigh but I'm not considered thick and I'm not told to "eat a sandwhich" either. I could probably lose about 5 pounds, but when I do lose weight, it comes right out of my boobs! So, Ben, you'd probably prefer me not to drop any :) My point is to say to you girls out there who may need to lose 5-10 pounds, WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT YOU! I guarantee, no one will notice the extra, you'll feel better about yourself and I swear guys won't notice (until you get in the bedroom, but you shouldn't be in there anyways the first time you meet him).

I see so many girls (especially here in fat engourged MO) that wear clothes that don't fit them. This results in tight shirts and jeans. Nothing more unappealing than that, for sure! This causes what my guy friends call (and call you behind your backs) Muffin Tops! You know, when you make muffins and you fill the cup too far and you pull them out of the oven and they've overflowed. That's what your fat skin looks like coming over the top of your jeans! GROSS! So when you're in the dressing room at the Gap, Banana Republic or (god forbid) Wal-Mart, sit down in those jeans you just squeezed yourself into! If you can grab a handful on the side, DON'T BUY THEM! It's SO unattractive! If you buy bigger jeans, you give the illusion of being thinner because when you're out on the dance floor shakin' it with the boys and they grab your hips, they aren't grabbing a handful of skin! Who cares what size you are! No one is looking at your tags! Also, size XS and S aren't for anyone but those girls in the "Pussycat Dolls". If you aren't tan, have your navel pierced and especially if you're wearing jeans that are a size too small for you, don't wear a form fitting tee! There's nothing worse than seeing how big a chic's bellybutton is especially if it's the size of doughnut! There, I said it!

*Heffalump: word used by Slopmaster to describe girls that are overweight (and probably have muffin tops)

What Was Jessica Thinking?

Being here visiting my parents is a real eye opener about how relationships should be. My parents have been married for 31 years this month and are best friends. They bike together, hunt together, fish together, go to church etc. They have been such a great example for me over the years growing up as an only child to see how a man should treat a woman and how a wife should love her husband. I have never been one to dream of getting married, to have the big wedding, have kids, buy a house etc. But when I look at their life, I would really love to have someone to be my best friend and to share a life with eventually.

I'm watching the show "What's Left of Me" that focuses on Nick Lachey and his upcoming album and recent divorce from Jessica Simpson. Yeah, I got sucked into watching "Newlyweds" on MTV. I never liked Jessica until that time because watching that show revealed her as a real person, a naive innocent girl who wants attention from her gorgeous, football obsessed husband (not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that). God knows if I ever get married, my husband better like football and appreciate my love for it too. But, to see the hurt behind Nick's eyes when he talks about her and losing her, is heartbreaking. They seemed like a great couple and I'm not sure she will be able to find someone who will put up with her antics or demands. As far as I'm concerned, they were a perfect couple and should have tried to work it out. But alas, Nick Lachey is single, but who would want the damaged goods?

Few Things Surprise Me

So I'm sitting in Panera Bread, a chain coffee/bagel shop in Springfield, Missouri. I dropped my mom off at her work so I could use her car today. I LOVE BEING ON VACATION! I don't think I've driven a car in about 2 months but it all comes back to you. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 17, which was probably a good thing. I've only had three tickets in those 13 years but I've had three accidents too (apart from the tickets). Believe it or not, none of those accidents I was ticketed for.

The purpose of the title of this entry is to explain what HAS surprised me recently. First, I'm not a big American Idol watcher but when I flipped to it the other night and saw that Ace Young got the boot, I was shocked! This kid is so good looking (LOVE THE HAIR!), fairly talented and humble, all the things that you would think America would want, especially us girls. Who knows, maybe if I did watch, I could have voted and kept him on with one vote. Yeah, right!

The next thing that surprises me is the trust of some people. I got a new cellphone the other day, finally, and as I was standing in the Sprint store with my mom and had a lady come up to me and tell me how much she loved my hair color. My hair is 3 inches past my shoulders, cut in layers, fairly straight and a rich dark chocolate cherry color. Yeah, it's not natural, I told her. She preceded to rave where the whole store could hear her telling me over and over how pretty it was and how pretty it made me look, blah blah blah. I actually got embarassed! Me, blushing! That doesn't happen too often. Then she told me to take a picture of my hair with my new cellphone and send it to her email! Come on lady, I could be the biggest virus hacker in the world and you're giving me your email address? I didn't do it of course because I don't want my email address all over the place but I politely took her address and said I would. Unbelievable!

Lastly, I got an email this morning from someone who reads my blog. The individual who reads this will know who I'm talking about but I'm not going to give him away. I was surprised how genuine he sounded in his email about himself, his beliefs and how he expressed them in the email. I was impressed. By reading his blog, I would think he's one of the many self-centered, good-looking, egotistcal, womanizing guys by the stuff he writes. But he kinda showed a different side and some good depth to his character. Again, I was shocked and pleasantly surprised. So, like I said, few things surprise me, but I love it when it happens.

No Wonder I'm Single!

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is low. You see love as a gift that you should give to many. It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time... Let alone one person for the rest of your life! Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

Loss of Inhibition, Middle of the Night & Jerry Maguire

"...it was a mission statement...just a mission statement." Have you ever noticed that your mind seems clearer in the middle of the night? Have you ever been laying in bed, not able to sleep and thought of things you need to say to your boss and determined you were going to say them first thing the next morning? Or, you're tossing and turning and think, "I'm going to go up to that guy/girl tomorrow and ask them out." But then in the light of day you're like, "What was I thinking?" This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I have so many grand plans that I have determined to do thinking about them at 3AM in the morning but when I wake up, I have no motivation and no ambition. I think that is probably what separates me and some of you from the Fortune 500 moguls out there in the world. That takes the ambition you have at night and the most courage you can muster up in the daytime. There must be some sort of chemical reaction that your brain goes through in the middle of the night due to lack of sleep, restlessness and seratonin levels...maybe. All I know is that if I did all the things I thought about at night I would probably be way ahead of where I am today but who knows how many friends or jobs I would have lost.

*inspired by the movie "Jerry Maguire" that I happened to flip to tonight (but you all know I can't stand Tom Cruise, right Vera?)

Dear Dubya

"FREEDOM IS THE SURE POSSESSION OF THOSE WHO HAVE THE COURAGE TO DEFEND IT."
Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all thesethings for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your kind help.

Imogen Heap

So I discovered this great electronic artist the other day named Imogen Heap. I was surfing along different blogs and came across this blog that had music attached to it. I just couldn't stop listening to the song. The song is "Headlock" and it's fantastic. So I went right away to iTunes (which I can't believe that I ever lived without) and downloaded it immediately, along with two more songs off the same CD. The song is very hypnotic and chill, kinda what I'm into lately, music wise. The lyrics to her songs are pretty dynamic also. They are very rich, well put together and insightful. It's weird how you just run across some things by accident that make a significant impact on you.

I'm sitting in this great little coffee shop/lounge with a WIFI connection called Loaded Joe's. Great little place to sit and chill. I just happened to hit happy hour so I'm sipping on A glass of wine (singular, folks....hopefully). I have to work super early in the morning and might try to hang out with that guy James, who I mentioned in a previous post, tomorrow. I can't wait to go on vacation next week to visit my parents. I'm so excited to get out of here for a while! Well, back to my music and wine :)

Reelin' Rollin'

So I went to the G-Love and Special Sauce concert last night that was in Vail. It was pretty cool. There were so many people there and I feel that I knew about half of them. Being that Vail is such a small town, you run into people all the time that you know. It makes it hard to date because you are always going to someone who dated the guy your dating. It's kind of like a social petrie dish. I like the anonymity of big cities where if you dump a guy, you're not going to hear about him dating one of your friends later. But there is about 4 to 1 guys to girls here, so we do have our pick mostly. But we also have a saying, "The odds are good but the goods are odd". It holds pretty true. Another saying that the guys like to use is, "When you breakup, you don't lose your girlfriend, you lose your turn". Gross but mostly true also. I envy Slopmaster's fabulous life in Hollywood where he can date as much as he wants and doesn't have to see the girls ever again if he doesn't want to. Lucky!

*To James from the Red Lion: Thanks for the ride home and...how fun was that last night?

Breathe In, Breathe Out...Life's Not Fair

Have you ever had something happen that you know you should be happy about but you just can't make yourself because you don't understand why things didn't work out for you in a similar situation? I'm really having to bite my tongue and take some deep breaths this week. The girl that was in the accident I blogged about a few weeks ago is doing much better. They've figured out that she is probably paralyzed but continues to have improvements in her movement where it looks like she may get better in the long run. Great news! I'm just thankful that I can walk (and now run) off the 10 pounds that I've gained in the last three months in bits and pieces.

But here's what I'm moaning about and probably being the worst and most selfish person on the planet. Practically the whole town of Vail is organizing a benefit for her with fundraising, silent auctions etc. The company that she works for is covering her with work man's comp and still there are endless donations piling in to the place that I work. It's really hard to be excited about anything associated with the event knowing that I had no insurance (yes, my fault, but still...) and I'm probably going to have to take some sort off drastic measure to take care of the six digit number that I'm facing. I know, I know, I'm a horrible person but I'm finding it extremely difficult to know how to deal with everything and be happy. But, OF COURSE, I am glad to be able to walk, glad I can still swing a golf club (which is my livelihood) and I am not wheelchair bound for an indefinite amount of time. Yes, I am thankful, I am thankful, life's not fair, I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful....

Going on Vacation

Well, it's April and in two weeks, I'm going to visit my parents... in Missouri. That may not sound like much to everyone else but I'm just excited about getting out of the mountains for a while. I'm an only child so I love going home, hanging out with my parents and eating home cooking...or at least eating for free :) My parents are both health nuts so the food we eat isn't like your regular down home food. One place that my mom and I go though is this Jamaican restaurant called "Tropical Breezes". The food is fantastic! Another reason I love to go home is I get to see the dogs. My parents have three: 2 Rotties and a Boxer. The Rottweilers are females and the Boxer is a male. The oldest of the dogs is Sadie, one of the Rotties. She will be 12 this year and my parents got her when I was in college. The other two are both 6 years old and were both adopted. The Boxer's name is MJ and the other Rottie is Sydney. I haven't got to meet Sydney yet but I'm sure we will get along famously. Not a whole lot else here in my world right now, I'm just glad to have a couple days off!

*To Devin: Hope everything works out

An Alley

Here is a picture that Devin has recently taken. I think it's pretty interesting. I have no knowledge of photography basics or inner workings but I'm sure they are there. What I like is to think of is a back story on pictures like this. If this was real life, what is she doing in the alley? Why is she balancing delicately on the post? Where did she come from? Stuff like that...here's my interpretation...in free prose with a little word play.

NO WINDOW
By Jennifer

An empty passage
Looking down from darkness
Leaning up from nothing
Everything looks small
Yet nothing has changed

Hamsters Smell!

So Devin read my blog and came up to me today and was like, "Hey I read your blog thing but...hamsters smell!" Oh, but on the contrary, Devin, you don't smell and I was refering to how cute you are. Just like this picture (thanks, Rebecca!). I tried to explain that, back in the day, I had one of the cutest boyfriends, Jason, who my best friend would tell me he was so cute she just wanted to put him in a cage and watch him run on his little wheel. Devin again took that as I was wanting him to be in a smelly cage and go nowhere, kidding of course. So, me blushing, had to flat out tell him that it was a compliment, that he doesn't smell and that I think he's super cute. Way to be subtle, Jen! So, again Devin, you're a super cutie, you smell like Chapstick and I love your green bandana!

*To Jason - Hope you are doing well! And remember, you were the original hampster!

Cute as a Hamster

This is about a guy I know named Devin. I met him because his shop is kind of attached to our hotel. He works at this place called Sharp Shooters. It's a photo shop that takes pictures of people skiing and or posing on the mountain.I've gotten to know him this winter because those guys always pass in front of the front desk where I work. He's also friends with my friend Dan that I've mentioned before. Devin also takes pictures on his own. He just gave me his website where he posts his pictures, www.dbphoto.deviantart.com. There are some pretty cool ones and also this picture of him on the site too. He's also cute as a hamster but I would never tell him that :) He'll probably read it on here anyways. Anyways, I thought I would talk up his photos and give you guys some cool pics to look at while you're reading this!

*To Devin: Thanks for stopping and chatting with me during work even if it does get you in trouble with Randy. You make my day!

Too Much Pressure

I laugh everytime I see that commercial they show on MTV where the high school girl is basically squished flat because she says she has to deal with too much peer pressure. But even I, at 30, have too much pressure. Here are 5 sources of my personal pressure:

#1 Pressure: TO BE SKINNY
At 5'8", I am never going to weigh 100 pounds, not even 120 pounds. I would be skin and bones. I am perfect weight for my height yet I still get told by society, T.V., my friends and even my dad that I need either work out more, lose weight or tone up. It's never good enough to be satisfied with yourself. I've never been one to make myself throw up and I love to eat. I also think it's crazy that P!nk's song and video "Stupid Girls" makes fun of the Hollywood starlets on being scantily clothed and making themselves puke to be skinny and yet P!nk doesn't have an ounce of fat on her. It's hypocrisy!

#2 Pressure: TO MAKE MONEY
At 30, I should probably own a house or condo, own a car and even have a savings account, but alas I have none of the above. All I have are student loans, credit card bills and now a huge hospital bill because the profession that I have chosen does not allow me to have ongoing health insurance. I love reading about those top ten billionaires that are under 30 who really didn't make their money by earning it, they inherited it from a trust fund or a rich, dead family member. Way to work it!

#3 Pressure: RECYCLE!
My feelings on recycling is that it is a super big waste of time. Unless you are willing to go down to the dump and physically watch them put your supposed recycled crap in a different junk pile and watch it get mulched up and reused, don't kid yourself that it actually happens. It's just another scam to get us to stress out and get on medication because the world is coming to an end. Come on, people, you can think of another reason to take Zanax, can't you?

#4 Pressure: EAT ORGANIC
Go ahead and eat organic if you want. But my dad is a microbiologist and according to him, we're better off eating the antibiotics and pesticides than the meat full of grubby viruses (i.e. bird flu) and grubby grubs (i.e. pin worms) on your stupid, sliced for you, packaged organic apples. Plus, organic food is way more expensive and should be called "yuppie" if we were still in the "80's. There is a lady that comes through the hotel that is on a complete organic and macrobiotic diet and she looks like death warmed over all the time. Hmmm, coincidence? I don't think so.

#5 Pressure: TO DRINK MORE THAN ONE DRINK AT THE BAR
OK, this is totally self induced, so I can't complain. But, apparently I drink like I'm in a race and my feet are the finish line and I puke on them. God forbid I sit at the bar and sip on one or to drinks and go home. No way! Not Jennifer! Let's see how many drinks I can guzzle down before I feel like complete crap, which by the way don't go hand in hand.

So there you go, just some of the pressure I have to deal with in my life. Why can't I just live my life to the fullest and not worry about things. And if I dwelled on all five of these at the same time, I would probably end up in a fetal position in my closet!

*To Esta: Eat some meat! You need some color in your cheeks!
**To my guy friends: You're never going to find a Paris Hilton!
***To my dad: I'll never look like Mom, Whitney Houston (cocaine addict) or even Angie Harmon! Sorry :(