What Was Jessica Thinking?

Being here visiting my parents is a real eye opener about how relationships should be. My parents have been married for 31 years this month and are best friends. They bike together, hunt together, fish together, go to church etc. They have been such a great example for me over the years growing up as an only child to see how a man should treat a woman and how a wife should love her husband. I have never been one to dream of getting married, to have the big wedding, have kids, buy a house etc. But when I look at their life, I would really love to have someone to be my best friend and to share a life with eventually.

I'm watching the show "What's Left of Me" that focuses on Nick Lachey and his upcoming album and recent divorce from Jessica Simpson. Yeah, I got sucked into watching "Newlyweds" on MTV. I never liked Jessica until that time because watching that show revealed her as a real person, a naive innocent girl who wants attention from her gorgeous, football obsessed husband (not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that). God knows if I ever get married, my husband better like football and appreciate my love for it too. But, to see the hurt behind Nick's eyes when he talks about her and losing her, is heartbreaking. They seemed like a great couple and I'm not sure she will be able to find someone who will put up with her antics or demands. As far as I'm concerned, they were a perfect couple and should have tried to work it out. But alas, Nick Lachey is single, but who would want the damaged goods?

Few Things Surprise Me

So I'm sitting in Panera Bread, a chain coffee/bagel shop in Springfield, Missouri. I dropped my mom off at her work so I could use her car today. I LOVE BEING ON VACATION! I don't think I've driven a car in about 2 months but it all comes back to you. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 17, which was probably a good thing. I've only had three tickets in those 13 years but I've had three accidents too (apart from the tickets). Believe it or not, none of those accidents I was ticketed for.

The purpose of the title of this entry is to explain what HAS surprised me recently. First, I'm not a big American Idol watcher but when I flipped to it the other night and saw that Ace Young got the boot, I was shocked! This kid is so good looking (LOVE THE HAIR!), fairly talented and humble, all the things that you would think America would want, especially us girls. Who knows, maybe if I did watch, I could have voted and kept him on with one vote. Yeah, right!

The next thing that surprises me is the trust of some people. I got a new cellphone the other day, finally, and as I was standing in the Sprint store with my mom and had a lady come up to me and tell me how much she loved my hair color. My hair is 3 inches past my shoulders, cut in layers, fairly straight and a rich dark chocolate cherry color. Yeah, it's not natural, I told her. She preceded to rave where the whole store could hear her telling me over and over how pretty it was and how pretty it made me look, blah blah blah. I actually got embarassed! Me, blushing! That doesn't happen too often. Then she told me to take a picture of my hair with my new cellphone and send it to her email! Come on lady, I could be the biggest virus hacker in the world and you're giving me your email address? I didn't do it of course because I don't want my email address all over the place but I politely took her address and said I would. Unbelievable!

Lastly, I got an email this morning from someone who reads my blog. The individual who reads this will know who I'm talking about but I'm not going to give him away. I was surprised how genuine he sounded in his email about himself, his beliefs and how he expressed them in the email. I was impressed. By reading his blog, I would think he's one of the many self-centered, good-looking, egotistcal, womanizing guys by the stuff he writes. But he kinda showed a different side and some good depth to his character. Again, I was shocked and pleasantly surprised. So, like I said, few things surprise me, but I love it when it happens.

No Wonder I'm Single!

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is low. You see love as a gift that you should give to many. It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time... Let alone one person for the rest of your life! Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

Loss of Inhibition, Middle of the Night & Jerry Maguire

"...it was a mission statement...just a mission statement." Have you ever noticed that your mind seems clearer in the middle of the night? Have you ever been laying in bed, not able to sleep and thought of things you need to say to your boss and determined you were going to say them first thing the next morning? Or, you're tossing and turning and think, "I'm going to go up to that guy/girl tomorrow and ask them out." But then in the light of day you're like, "What was I thinking?" This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I have so many grand plans that I have determined to do thinking about them at 3AM in the morning but when I wake up, I have no motivation and no ambition. I think that is probably what separates me and some of you from the Fortune 500 moguls out there in the world. That takes the ambition you have at night and the most courage you can muster up in the daytime. There must be some sort of chemical reaction that your brain goes through in the middle of the night due to lack of sleep, restlessness and seratonin levels...maybe. All I know is that if I did all the things I thought about at night I would probably be way ahead of where I am today but who knows how many friends or jobs I would have lost.

*inspired by the movie "Jerry Maguire" that I happened to flip to tonight (but you all know I can't stand Tom Cruise, right Vera?)

Dear Dubya

"FREEDOM IS THE SURE POSSESSION OF THOSE WHO HAVE THE COURAGE TO DEFEND IT."
Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all thesethings for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your kind help.

Imogen Heap

So I discovered this great electronic artist the other day named Imogen Heap. I was surfing along different blogs and came across this blog that had music attached to it. I just couldn't stop listening to the song. The song is "Headlock" and it's fantastic. So I went right away to iTunes (which I can't believe that I ever lived without) and downloaded it immediately, along with two more songs off the same CD. The song is very hypnotic and chill, kinda what I'm into lately, music wise. The lyrics to her songs are pretty dynamic also. They are very rich, well put together and insightful. It's weird how you just run across some things by accident that make a significant impact on you.

I'm sitting in this great little coffee shop/lounge with a WIFI connection called Loaded Joe's. Great little place to sit and chill. I just happened to hit happy hour so I'm sipping on A glass of wine (singular, folks....hopefully). I have to work super early in the morning and might try to hang out with that guy James, who I mentioned in a previous post, tomorrow. I can't wait to go on vacation next week to visit my parents. I'm so excited to get out of here for a while! Well, back to my music and wine :)

Reelin' Rollin'

So I went to the G-Love and Special Sauce concert last night that was in Vail. It was pretty cool. There were so many people there and I feel that I knew about half of them. Being that Vail is such a small town, you run into people all the time that you know. It makes it hard to date because you are always going to someone who dated the guy your dating. It's kind of like a social petrie dish. I like the anonymity of big cities where if you dump a guy, you're not going to hear about him dating one of your friends later. But there is about 4 to 1 guys to girls here, so we do have our pick mostly. But we also have a saying, "The odds are good but the goods are odd". It holds pretty true. Another saying that the guys like to use is, "When you breakup, you don't lose your girlfriend, you lose your turn". Gross but mostly true also. I envy Slopmaster's fabulous life in Hollywood where he can date as much as he wants and doesn't have to see the girls ever again if he doesn't want to. Lucky!

*To James from the Red Lion: Thanks for the ride home and...how fun was that last night?

Breathe In, Breathe Out...Life's Not Fair

Have you ever had something happen that you know you should be happy about but you just can't make yourself because you don't understand why things didn't work out for you in a similar situation? I'm really having to bite my tongue and take some deep breaths this week. The girl that was in the accident I blogged about a few weeks ago is doing much better. They've figured out that she is probably paralyzed but continues to have improvements in her movement where it looks like she may get better in the long run. Great news! I'm just thankful that I can walk (and now run) off the 10 pounds that I've gained in the last three months in bits and pieces.

But here's what I'm moaning about and probably being the worst and most selfish person on the planet. Practically the whole town of Vail is organizing a benefit for her with fundraising, silent auctions etc. The company that she works for is covering her with work man's comp and still there are endless donations piling in to the place that I work. It's really hard to be excited about anything associated with the event knowing that I had no insurance (yes, my fault, but still...) and I'm probably going to have to take some sort off drastic measure to take care of the six digit number that I'm facing. I know, I know, I'm a horrible person but I'm finding it extremely difficult to know how to deal with everything and be happy. But, OF COURSE, I am glad to be able to walk, glad I can still swing a golf club (which is my livelihood) and I am not wheelchair bound for an indefinite amount of time. Yes, I am thankful, I am thankful, life's not fair, I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful....

Going on Vacation

Well, it's April and in two weeks, I'm going to visit my parents... in Missouri. That may not sound like much to everyone else but I'm just excited about getting out of the mountains for a while. I'm an only child so I love going home, hanging out with my parents and eating home cooking...or at least eating for free :) My parents are both health nuts so the food we eat isn't like your regular down home food. One place that my mom and I go though is this Jamaican restaurant called "Tropical Breezes". The food is fantastic! Another reason I love to go home is I get to see the dogs. My parents have three: 2 Rotties and a Boxer. The Rottweilers are females and the Boxer is a male. The oldest of the dogs is Sadie, one of the Rotties. She will be 12 this year and my parents got her when I was in college. The other two are both 6 years old and were both adopted. The Boxer's name is MJ and the other Rottie is Sydney. I haven't got to meet Sydney yet but I'm sure we will get along famously. Not a whole lot else here in my world right now, I'm just glad to have a couple days off!

*To Devin: Hope everything works out

An Alley

Here is a picture that Devin has recently taken. I think it's pretty interesting. I have no knowledge of photography basics or inner workings but I'm sure they are there. What I like is to think of is a back story on pictures like this. If this was real life, what is she doing in the alley? Why is she balancing delicately on the post? Where did she come from? Stuff like that...here's my interpretation...in free prose with a little word play.

NO WINDOW
By Jennifer

An empty passage
Looking down from darkness
Leaning up from nothing
Everything looks small
Yet nothing has changed

Hamsters Smell!

So Devin read my blog and came up to me today and was like, "Hey I read your blog thing but...hamsters smell!" Oh, but on the contrary, Devin, you don't smell and I was refering to how cute you are. Just like this picture (thanks, Rebecca!). I tried to explain that, back in the day, I had one of the cutest boyfriends, Jason, who my best friend would tell me he was so cute she just wanted to put him in a cage and watch him run on his little wheel. Devin again took that as I was wanting him to be in a smelly cage and go nowhere, kidding of course. So, me blushing, had to flat out tell him that it was a compliment, that he doesn't smell and that I think he's super cute. Way to be subtle, Jen! So, again Devin, you're a super cutie, you smell like Chapstick and I love your green bandana!

*To Jason - Hope you are doing well! And remember, you were the original hampster!

Cute as a Hamster

This is about a guy I know named Devin. I met him because his shop is kind of attached to our hotel. He works at this place called Sharp Shooters. It's a photo shop that takes pictures of people skiing and or posing on the mountain.I've gotten to know him this winter because those guys always pass in front of the front desk where I work. He's also friends with my friend Dan that I've mentioned before. Devin also takes pictures on his own. He just gave me his website where he posts his pictures, www.dbphoto.deviantart.com. There are some pretty cool ones and also this picture of him on the site too. He's also cute as a hamster but I would never tell him that :) He'll probably read it on here anyways. Anyways, I thought I would talk up his photos and give you guys some cool pics to look at while you're reading this!

*To Devin: Thanks for stopping and chatting with me during work even if it does get you in trouble with Randy. You make my day!

Too Much Pressure

I laugh everytime I see that commercial they show on MTV where the high school girl is basically squished flat because she says she has to deal with too much peer pressure. But even I, at 30, have too much pressure. Here are 5 sources of my personal pressure:

#1 Pressure: TO BE SKINNY
At 5'8", I am never going to weigh 100 pounds, not even 120 pounds. I would be skin and bones. I am perfect weight for my height yet I still get told by society, T.V., my friends and even my dad that I need either work out more, lose weight or tone up. It's never good enough to be satisfied with yourself. I've never been one to make myself throw up and I love to eat. I also think it's crazy that P!nk's song and video "Stupid Girls" makes fun of the Hollywood starlets on being scantily clothed and making themselves puke to be skinny and yet P!nk doesn't have an ounce of fat on her. It's hypocrisy!

#2 Pressure: TO MAKE MONEY
At 30, I should probably own a house or condo, own a car and even have a savings account, but alas I have none of the above. All I have are student loans, credit card bills and now a huge hospital bill because the profession that I have chosen does not allow me to have ongoing health insurance. I love reading about those top ten billionaires that are under 30 who really didn't make their money by earning it, they inherited it from a trust fund or a rich, dead family member. Way to work it!

#3 Pressure: RECYCLE!
My feelings on recycling is that it is a super big waste of time. Unless you are willing to go down to the dump and physically watch them put your supposed recycled crap in a different junk pile and watch it get mulched up and reused, don't kid yourself that it actually happens. It's just another scam to get us to stress out and get on medication because the world is coming to an end. Come on, people, you can think of another reason to take Zanax, can't you?

#4 Pressure: EAT ORGANIC
Go ahead and eat organic if you want. But my dad is a microbiologist and according to him, we're better off eating the antibiotics and pesticides than the meat full of grubby viruses (i.e. bird flu) and grubby grubs (i.e. pin worms) on your stupid, sliced for you, packaged organic apples. Plus, organic food is way more expensive and should be called "yuppie" if we were still in the "80's. There is a lady that comes through the hotel that is on a complete organic and macrobiotic diet and she looks like death warmed over all the time. Hmmm, coincidence? I don't think so.

#5 Pressure: TO DRINK MORE THAN ONE DRINK AT THE BAR
OK, this is totally self induced, so I can't complain. But, apparently I drink like I'm in a race and my feet are the finish line and I puke on them. God forbid I sit at the bar and sip on one or to drinks and go home. No way! Not Jennifer! Let's see how many drinks I can guzzle down before I feel like complete crap, which by the way don't go hand in hand.

So there you go, just some of the pressure I have to deal with in my life. Why can't I just live my life to the fullest and not worry about things. And if I dwelled on all five of these at the same time, I would probably end up in a fetal position in my closet!

*To Esta: Eat some meat! You need some color in your cheeks!
**To my guy friends: You're never going to find a Paris Hilton!
***To my dad: I'll never look like Mom, Whitney Houston (cocaine addict) or even Angie Harmon! Sorry :(

Cellphones...Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without "Em

So John lost his cellphone today, you know the guy who I've been talking to for the past month in a half from NY. It's probably for the best because he's going on a cruise in a week and I won't be able to talk to him for 10 days anyways. But it leads me to the question, what would we do without cellphones? I know I feel naked without mine, a little unsafe and totally disconnected. And I love having caller ID with every call, because you can choose to answer or not. I love it! But, we as Americans are so spoiled in having our cellphones to call or text and blackberries to be able to get emails or text messages or even our social calendar. All I know is that I'm sad when I can't hear someone's voice or thinking that I may be missing out on something. Anyways, knock on wood, I've only lost one cellphone and was able to replace it in a heartbeat. So, I guess I will have to settle on emailing John and hear from him when he gets back from the cruise. So sad...

*To Mike and Aubrey: Can't wait to see you tomorrow!
**To my friend Cliff who passed away a year ago today: Four bowls, four beers, four shots and four bars.

Good Times, Old Friends

So I chatted online with one of my old friends today named DW. I was friends with him when I was a golf pro down in Orlando. We KINDA dated a little back in the day when I was "brand new" but I kind of screwed up and ended up seeing a good friend of his. When I chatted with him today, it's like we didn't have any years between us. You ever f---ed up a relationship and then looked back years later and say, "Damn, I really messed that up"? Well, that's what I say about him. At the time, I was really immature and didn't know what I wanted. I guess you live and learn. But he's always been really nice to me and never held anything against me. Thanks D-Dub!

One of my favorite times with DW was during Hurricane Floyd back in the mid-90's. There were seven of us holed up in a house with what must have been 20 cases of beer and couple bottles of Crown. We watched Tommy Boy and the guys stood out in the wind and rain like the studs they were. The next morning we were all hung over and went to eat at Shoney's for breakfast, the only thing opened. I can remember that like it was yesterday. Thank goodness Floyd didn't hit land or it might have been like Katrina! He's also one of the guys that loved great music like I do. We were into Dave Matthews Band and Creed back then. I'm sure I will have more to write about him later but that's all for now!

*To my friend DW: I can't believe how long it's been but I hope we hold on to what we got!

Aren't We All A Little Irish?

Well, I know that I'm 1/4 Irish thanks to my mom's mom. My other quarters are Czech, Greek and Welsh. Wow, talk about Heinz 57! I've definitely got the drinking down from my Irish side, the outgoing and loud side of my Greek side, the pretty, tan Mediterrainean skin from my Czech side and....everything else from the Welsh side, I guess.

So I'm stuck at work tonight on St. Patty's Day, which is fine. It's not super big here in Vail for some reason and it really is amatuer night anyways. One of the very first St. Patty's Days that I remember was when I was in college and we had a golf tournament in Mississippi. My coach ended up taking the team to stay in New Orleans for three days, which I may remember one of them. Yikes! So after that, nothing can really hold a candle to the Irish holiday anymore than chugging Hurricanes on Bourbon St. and watching the sunrise on Lake Ponchatrain. Hope everyone got lucky tonight!

*To my old golf coach Stephany: Thanks for holding my hair back!
**To Matthew McConaughey: Dump Penelope Cruz and find me!

Wine, Steak and Free Dessert

My friend Dan and I went out to eat last night at the Gashouse. Great restaurant in Edwards. We had wine and raw oysters to start out. So yummy! I had the 10 oz NY strip (medium rare) with veggies and a baked potato. Dan had a rack of lamb with mint sauce and get this...curly fries. That's the kind of restaurant this was! Anyways, we were full as ticks and then our waiter brings us a combo of pecan pie and vanilla ice cream for free since he kept bumping into my chair all night. That put both of us over the edge! After that we went back to my house and played gin. I kicked his ass!! Anyways, it was a good night and satisfied my craving for steak for the time being. This picture is what I would have been looking at if I would have turned around in my chair. Seriously, this water buffalo had an attitude problem!

*To Manchester at South Forty: Thanks for the wine, cutie!

Glad To Be Able To Walk

A girl I know from my job had a pretty bad accident this weekend. She was driving on our crazy Colorado roads and flipped the big truck she was driving. She was thrown from her vehicle even though she was wearing her seatbelt. My boss Julie is really good friends with her and said when she went to visit her yesterday, she wasn't able to move her legs. She fractured her T2 and T3 vertebrae and had to have a rod put in her back for support.

For those of you who don't know me, I fractured my L1 vertebrae last summer falling off a ladder. My vertebrae was 50% into my spinal cord and I was in the hospital for two weeks. My surgeon was great but it was tough rehab to be able to get out of the hospital. I'm about 98% good with flexiblility and have no kind of limp or problem swinging a golf club. I got really lucky! And I have a really gnarly scar to boot. But I am so lucky to be able to be alive, be able to walk and be a golf professional. I thank God everyday that I am not in a wheelchair and all of my bodily functions work properly. So when life gets you down, just remember to count your blessings and know that you are here on earth for and reason and live everyday to the fullest.

*To Gina: We're praying for you, girl! You're gonna be OK and we love you!

Thank God It's My Friday!

I'm so excited for a day off finally! It's been a busy week for the hotel and this next week will be slow before spring break hits. I really need a vacation though. I would love to be laying on a beach somewhere soaking in the sun. My friend John is going on a cruise at the end of March and I'm so jealous. My boss Julie is going to Jupiter, FL in April. I have no idea what I'm doing for mud season yet. I have about two weeks off starting the middle of April. I wish I could go somewhere fun.

Anyways, we are having a girls night out tomorrow night. Me, Julie, Sarah and my GM Tamara are going to go to a musical and having dinner and drinks. It should be a blast! We've been looking forward to it all week. Maybe I will have some fun pictures to post (even though my dad warns me about that). Other than that, I'm pretty excited about having two days off in a row! WOOHOO!

*To my long lost friend Shann: I heard a song that reminded me of you today and I wonder how you are. I miss you.

**To my mom and dad: Thanks for making me finish college. Too bad I not in sync with this picture.

Back to Being Friends

When I lived in Florida, all of my friends loved the Dave Matthews Band. I liked them too. I have quite a few of the cd's and used to listen to them all the time. But when I moved here to Colorado, everyone called DMB sellouts. Here in the mountains, we have what is called underground music. Many bands get their start in this area and we get to listen to them for the bargain price of a five dollar cover. Gov'ment Mule, Acoustic Semi, some really good Pink Floyd and Grateful Dead tribute bands and many others have got their start here.

Some other bands that are really popular are Phish, Widespread Panic, Leftover Salmon and The String Cheese Incident. When a festival will come through the valley or to a neighboring town like Telluride or Aspen, everybody skips work or takes a weekend trip and goes. Really cool atmosphere if you're into the whole mushroom and ecstacy trip. Me, not so much. I appreciate music for what it really is and don't need it chemically or herbally enhanced. Which brings me back to Dave Matthews. On Itunes, as you Mac users will know, there is a feature called Party Shuffle. What a great idea! But DMB ispired the title to this entry. "Say Goodbye" is probably one of my favorite songs from them and it just came on before I started writing tonight. I might just have to play it again.

*To my friend Bobby: Thanks for introducing me to Dave Matthews!!